This might ruffle some feathers. But I feel like I need to speak the truth.
This has been on my heart for the whole month, and actually, this is my “theme” moving forward. March has been a month of huge internal growth, for me at least, and this is my focus for the months ahead.
Full transparency: This has been one of my hardest months in business.
There’s been a lot of really good growth! But even good growing pains bring tough conversations and new considerations.
Last year I partnered with a luxury hair care company. And as much as I love this partnership, as much as I love my team, the outside world doesn’t get it.
The outside world just. doesn’t. “get it.”
Even some of the influencers I follow have bashed my business model (and that of my girls).
And if I spend my time questioning, “What do people think of me?” or if I give space to the people who question how I run my business, my home, my life, or if I respond negatively to the people who don’t “get it”... What does that really do for me? Or for my girls?
Instead, I think this is an incredible opportunity for teaching and sharing my Truth.
I have a three-step process for how I respond to someone who has a different opinion (especially someone who’s bashing my own opinion).
I don’t want to simply say, “Haters gonna hate,” because sometimes even the things I don’t want to hear are the exact things I NEED to hear.
Instead, every time someone disagrees or explains their opinion counter to mine, I (try to) embrace the opportunity for growth (even though it stinks).
Now, sometimes these people are telling us exactly what we need to hear (even though it feels crappy), and other times these people are just being mean. We need to have a way to navigate the difference, and that’s what I’m talking about today!
This is my 3 Step process for when people start to question my business or lifestyle:
#1. Think (do not respond!) first.
Disagreement usually brings up some big emotions. You might start to feel insecure or frustrated or angry or hurt. That’s when you need to stop and think, “Why is this bothering me? What about this creates upset and insecurity?”
And here’s the kicker, “Is this actually true?”
I’m a fiery person, so my first response is often to fight. I want to fight whoever is hurting me, but moreso whoever is hurting my family, my friends, my clients. (And pssst, that’s not the correct response!)
Stop. Think first.
#2. Process what you’re feeling.
And this looks differently for everyone.
You might reach out for support. I typically ask my husband to help me work through thoughts and feelings, especially when I’m unsure.
You might need to remind yourself of your Truth. I find my Truth in the Bible, so when someone questions my parenting for example, I turn to the Bible and ask, “What does my Truth say about parenting?”
You might need to pray or meditate.
You might need to write.
You might need to exercise. My husband, Joe, likes to go for a run!
WISDOM COMES FROM A MULTITUDE OF COUNSELORS.
Find wisdom in more than one place. Consider your viewpoint. And then ask someone you trust for their viewpoint.
Don’t always think that your way is the only or best way.. But trust yourself first.
Let this be a positive experience! Remind yourself why you do what you do.
#3. Then, respond.
Sometimes responding looks like talking to this person one-on-one.
Sometimes this means hopping on live video and teaching your girls!
Sometimes this means letting go of this other person’s opinion (because maybe they’re just being mean, maybe it’s not about you).
My advice: Respond with love. Stand up for yourself, explain why you disagree. But also remember that what you think about your life/business/family is the main (only) opinion that matters.
P.S. Hop over to my Facebook page and subscribe to Live video updates for weekly inspiration and business advice!