How to STOP Comparing Yourself to Others
Lately, I’ve been noticing a trend in women comparing themselves to each other. Have you seen it, too? A couple of my clients and some women in the online space have explained how little they feel in relation to other, bigger businesses.
So today, I'm writing to encourage you!
I don’t know whether you’ve ever found yourself in the midst of comparing yourself to another person, but maybe you can relate to this:
You’re scrolling through your newsfeed and you see another family having a super awesome weekend; and you feel jealous. Or, you see another online business owner who is *maybe* doing better than you; maybe they’ve had a more successful month; and you feel less than. Or, you find an online program similar to yours and you think, “Oh, this program looks way better than mine.”
We've all fallen into the Comparison Trap, but women especially struggle.
I work with A LOT of women, and I see so many who get stuck in comparing themselves to others. What can you do when you’re stuck there? What can you do when you feel less than because you see other people who are “more successful” than you (because their life or business looks better, or because they seem to eat healthier, or because they have more patience with their kids)?
I have FOUR BASIC TIPS that I teach my clients, FOUR PRACTICAL WAYS you can work through Comparison Syndrome (‘cause I know it’s real!) and STOP comparing yourself to others.
TIP #1: Re-access the way you’re spending time online.
I think we’ve all found ourselves caught in the social media trap, when we know we’re spending time on Facebook when we shouldn’t be. You scroll through your newsfeed and decide that only other people are rocking life (when in reality, remember, you’re only seeing the highlights of someone else’s life).
That’s when I want you to check, RIGHT THERE: What was my intention in getting on social media in the first place?
Was I supposed to be working? Was I hopping on to post a quick picture or valuable content? Was I checking on clients?
What was my original intention for hopping on my newsfeed, and why am I on it now? Am I bored? Am I just wasting time? Why? And, are there other ways I can be spending my time v. scrolling through my newsfeed?
Eighty percent of your time should be in Creation Mode.
You should be doing market research, interacting with your team, brainstorming program ideas, and writing content. Most of your work time should be consumed with figuring out HOW and in WHAT ways to grow your business effectively, plus creating content that brings value to your people.
The other 20 percent of your time should be spent interacting with potential clients, booking discovery calls, and on regular client calls.
When you take all of your work time doing these two things, you literally don’t have more time to scroll through Facebook and worry about what everyone else is doing!
You should be so engrossed in your own business endeavors that you don’t have time to worry about other people.
TIP #2: Compare yourself TO yourself (not to other people).
So many people in the online space (so many of my work colleagues!) are in a similar industry as me. And often, they do certain things better than I do.
But that doesn’t mean my business is bad!
If you’re following similar entrepreneurs on social media, you’ll probably notice that they have different talents AND different experience.
You have to remember that you can’t compare your Month One to someone else’s Month Five (or Year Five).
And don’t think that just because you have an area of your business you haven’t mastered yet, or because you’re still working hard toward a certain goal, that there’s anything wrong with you!
maybe God is bringing you through this certain trial to grow you in a new way. And you’re going to become a better, stronger person afterwards.
You don’t have to be the Master at everything. Look at where you’ve been and where you’re at now; and compare yourself only to yourself and see where you've made growth, or need to see growth.
TIP #3: Celebrate the women you feel competitive with, or maybe partner with them to create even better services together!
Sometimes the same people you feel competitive with can be your best business allies. Can you find ways to celebrate other women? Maybe clap for their WINS, encourage them, or even share one of their posts!
Can you consider that your comparison stems from jealousy, because you actually like what they’re saying and how they’re saying it?
Anytime I feel myself getting frustrated or jealous of another woman, I make a point to celebrate or clap for her. If I really like her content, I share it on my social media platforms. If I think one of my clients will benefit from her services, I refer my client to her. If I think we can offer even better content together, I bring her on as a guest expert in one of my programs.
We all have our Zone of Genius. And that’s why, when I run programs for my clients, I invite them to meet some of my colleagues, some of my competitors (most of whom are my friends!). I bring my work colleagues onto my group calls to share content, because I realize that I don’t know everything, I’m not amazing at everything (see TIP#3). But I want to connect my clients with people who are better than me in certain areas, so my clients can get the full value they deserve. And honestly, sometimes my clients even go on to work with some of my colleagues! But when that happens, I’m confident that’s in their best interest, and that’s okay.
There are millions and millions of people on this planet who can receive tons and tons of value from your services, PLUS other peoples’ services. There’s plenty to go around the whole wide world!
TIP #4: Join a high level mastermind program!
Anytime I’m feeling discouraged or frustrated, anytime I’m feeling unsure of my program deliverables or my market research, I go inside MY mastermind group, and I say, “Hey, I’m feeling this way about this,” or “I need to pick your brains about this thing.” And the girls in my mastermind group and my coach are able to come alongside me, to support and encourage me. And it’s been such a huge help!
You need to get around a group of women who will support you, encourage you, lift you up, and help you, especially when you’re feeling jealous, underqualified, or lacking confidence.
I offer a FREE mastermind group called Female Fitness Entrepreneurs, a supportive community of women on Facebook, where you can ask questions, look for and offer support, and meet some of your best business allies in the online space!
And if you’re looking for something with more information, plus greater support from a coach, I offer Fitness Business Academy (for new entrepreneurs) and Uplevel (for more experienced entrepreneurs, ready to grow!)!
It’s really sad to me that 9 out of 10 online businesses fail within the first year. And I know one of the biggest reasons that they fail is: MINDSET.
People get crippled by things that consume space in their minds (cue the social media trap!). And truly, if they just had a coach and a community to come alongside them and say,
“Hey girl, YOU are fine! YOU are rocking it! Let me give you some strategies to move forward. I’ll come alongside you to encourage you. Let’s brainstorm how to get out of this mindset funk.”
THAT’S when they’re able to push through and see success with their programs.
If you’re looking for support from other women, download my FREE Secrets to Business Success, and check out my FREE group, Female Fitness Entrepreneurs! Join the group, and tell us how we can support you, starting today!
And if you’re a Level I entrepreneur who needs greater support, definitely check out my Fitness Business Academy program; and if you’re a Level II entrepreneur, check out my Uplevel program!
And one more thing...
I know that this is a journey, but THROUGH this journey I believe you will really grow you as an entrepreneur.
Yes, are the most amazing parts of being an entrepreneur moreso the facts that you can pick your own hours, set your own prices, chase your goals, have the freedom to structure your business to make the profits that you want? Yes, absolutely!
BUT one of the biggest wins of being an entrepreneur, and one that a lot of people don’t realize, is the GROWTH that happens through the JOURNEY.
I’ve learned so much through having to work hard to grow my business, sometimes having to struggle through NOT hitting every single goal or brainstorming how to make my programs more effective. And that wouldn’t have happened if the process didn’t take TIME and STRUGGLE to work through.
I’m here for you, friend! Just hop into my community of women, and tell me where you need support on your journey!